TORONTO – The Ontario government is racing to fix a huge oversight with COVID-19 vaccines after realizing they also need to actually administer them to people. “I just don’t know how someon…
Tag: Featured Post
Governor brags that death tolls are bigger in Texas
AUSTIN – Texas Governor Greg Abbott brought an end to state-wide mask mandates and gathering restrictions late Tuesday evening, boasting that – like everything else – state coro…
How to continue feeling superior to Americans while watching them get the vaccine months before you
If there is one thing that has sustained Canadians through the tough times of the last year, as well as the tough times of literally every year before that, it’s our ardent belief that we a…
Trudeau clarifies that Saudi Arabia isn’t an ally, just an acquaintance we sell a fuckton of weapons to
OTTAWA – In the wake of US Intelligence concluding that Saudi Arabian Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman was personally involved in the murder of Jamal Khashoggi, Prime Minister Trudeau clari…
Rock collectors line up at Mount Etna for latest product release
CATANIA – Following the announcement that Mount Etna, the Sicilian stratovolcano, has erupted again in a dazzling show of light and lava, rock collectors from around the world are clamberin…
Local woman apologizes for apologizing
WINNIPEG – Amanda Santos, a Senior Associate Consultant from downtown Winnipeg apologized during a meeting last week, then when she realized she apologized, she apologized again. Santos had…
Canada approves another vaccine that you won’t get for like six months
OTTAWA – The Canadian government is pleased to announce that Health Canada has approved AstraZeneca’s COVID-19 vaccine, yet another vaccine that most Canadians won’t have access…
Party that promised to institute Pharmacare votes against Bill to institute Pharmacare because it would too quickly institute Pharmacare
OTTAWA – The Liberal Party, which campaigned on instituting a national Pharmacare program, recently rejected attempts by the NDP to institute a national Pharmacare program, on the grounds t…
Gay teen moves to Toronto, must once again live in closet
TORONTO – A gay teen who recently moved to Toronto has been dismayed to learn that she will once again be living in a closet – this time, literally. Piper Porter, 18, originally moved to the big …
Unable to find a single officer not under investigation, Canadian military now under command of local Girl Guide
OTTAWA – Following the revelation that defence chief Admiral Art McDonald has stepped down due to an investigation into a sexual misconduct allegation just weeks after defence chief Gen. Jo…
