OTTAWA – A self-employed man on the brink of bankruptcy no longer has to pay back his COVID relief benefits after explaining to the CRA that he already gave the $6,000 to corporate sharehol…
Tag: covid-19
Ford moving York Region into lockdown now that everyone from Peel and Toronto have had time to do their shopping there
TORONTO – The provincial government today announced their intention to send York Region into the grey zone of Ontario’s COVID-19 framework now that both Toronto and Peel residents have had …
Ontario-born man lectures about Alberta Bashing
EDMONTON – Defending his response to Alberta’s deadly pandemic, Oakville, Ontario native Jason Kenney is labelling any criticism directed at him or his government as “Alberta Bashing.” The …
Ford assures Ontarians $12 bil in unused COVID funds will be disbursed to real estate developers as soon as possible
QUEEN’S PARK – Following a report from the province’s financial watchdog stating $12 billion in COVID-19 contingency funding is being hoarded, Premier Ford assured Ontarians those funds wil…
Desperate Trump announces only people with evidence of voter fraud will be vaccinated
WASHINGTON, D.C. ― In a series of tweets, Donald Trump announced today that any American who wanted to receive a COVID-19 vaccine would have to first provide proof of voter fraud. “Thanks to Your…
Local absinthe drinker hasn’t been to a baroque midnight ritual in months
VICTORIA – Stephen Thackston, an absinthe aficionado and self-described ‘weird dandy,’ wants the public to know how hard physical distancing has been on the neo-fop community. “Do you have …
Public health officials warn against seasonal gatherings of ten or more lords a-leaping
OTTAWA – As the holidays approach and cases of COVID-19 continue to rise, the Public Health Agency of Canada has urged citizens to limit social events this season to less than ten lords, especial…
Canada politely waits in desperate silence to be asked if it would like more COVID vaccines
OTTAWA – As nations around the world line up to acquire vaccines against the COVID19 virus from countries with the manufacturing capacity, Canada is quietly waiting its turn to be offered s…
Local woman watches porn just to see people interacting without masks on
KITCHENER- With more Canadians staying at home and avoiding the public, it makes sense that online activities would also be on the rise. But a new report suggests that while porn consumption is u…
Canadians warned to shelter at home unless your job makes money for someone richer
OTTAWA – Health Canada is warning all Canadians to avoid COVID by staying at home, with the exception of those whose jobs create wealth for those with exponentially more money than them, in…