NEW YORK – As yet another news cycle confirms that extreme wealth functions as a force field against accountability, the discourse has evolved. We’re no longer debating whether to eat the rich; w…
Tag: Cooking
Spoon found on counter probably clean enough
NORTH BAY – Nathan Pike who lives alone discovered a spoon on his counter and decided it was clean enough to use. Pike then plunged the spoon into a container of sugar to grab a half scoop,…
REPORT: Piece of tinfoil you cut just a little too small
MONTREAL – A new study has revealed that the piece of tinfoil you thought was big enough to cover a lidless tupperware container is, in fact, not big enough. Researchers from Concordia Uni…
Hate Crime Alert: White friend just made your cultural dish and it tastes amazing
SURREY, BC – Shocking reports suggest that your token white friend just prepared your cultural dish and it tasted better than anything you’ve ever made, in what is being considered the worl…
Man finally gets around to last month’s HelloFresh box
EDMONTON – Sources in Jason Freeman’s apartment have reported that the 28-year-old accountant is finally finishing up the HelloFresh meal kit that arrived over four weeks ago. “Jason just let the…
Modern Baryshnikov artfully dodges the steam unleashed by microwave dinner
HALIFAX – Sources report that Daniel Strickland has amazed onlookers by easily avoiding the steam that poured out of his microwave dinner as he peeled back its plastic seal. “I thought he was g…
Local woman tired of the 3 shitty little meals she knows how to make
GUELPH, ON – Local accounts manager Mary Nierling confirmed today that there are only three meals she knows how to make and she is completely disgusted by all of them at this point. “I was …
Impatient sous chef pre shakes water for it to boil faster
RICHMOND HILL, ON – Local sous chef, Darryl Donwyn, recently shook a pot of water to make it boil faster at restaurant Le Lentement. “He still has a lot to learn,” said head chef Saffron Me…
Couple with great sex life looking to spice things up in the kitchen
KELOWNA, BC – After two years of consistently mind blowing sex, Greg Hayes and Lauren Morgan Clark are ready to take their relationship to the next level and start cooking together. “Greg a…
