Hey Millennials! Isn’t McDonalds still selling pizza? Aren’t acid washed jeans still in style? Aren’t we all enjoying life in its simple banality? Sorry fam, but the bogus truth is that time cont…
Tag: childhood
Local woman makes old Barbies kiss just to feel something
MONTREAL – This week, Lauren Katsufrakis’ friends and family were growing increasingly concerned as she had been repeatedly making her old dolls make out in order to feel anything aside fro…
QUIZ: Are you homophobic, Islamophobic or arachnophobic?
With so many irrational fears out there these days, it’s hard to keep track of what you have an extreme, deep-seated aversion toward. So much that it can be damn near impossible to figure out if …
7 YTV PJ’s that are still alive
Remember when YTV was full of the most hilarious, entertaining and chewing gum based personalities? They were called PJs and we loved them all. Sadly, most are now long dead but let’s check in an…
Parents convince their children that mall Santa’s “funny smell” is juniper berries
Brockville, ON – When Crestview Mall’s Santa Claus showed up to work belligerently drunk and stinking of gin last weekend, parents had to persuade their children that the smell emanating fr…
Child expresses love to parents with shitty portrait of family
Stoney Creek, ON – A local 5-year old boy disappointed his parents by giving them a poor artistic depiction of the family. Tommy Cobbler finished the work in his senior kindergarten class a…
UN condemns the use of child soldiers at Laser Quest
NEW YORK – In a move to further eliminate child soldiers, the UN has strongly denounced the use of children in laser tag warfare. General Assembly Resolution 2124 – which passed 183 t…
Study: Every child who cheated at NHL 94 now a hardened criminal
BURNABY, BC – A new study by Simon Fraser university has revealed that all children who constantly relied on well known but impossible to stop cheats to win at NHL 94 have turned into dange…
Fun and games continue after unpopular kid loses eye
St. John, NB – After a wayward pitch blinded 10-year old Saul Fieffel in his right eye, the students of Ms. Krougar’s grade 5 homeroom class decided to finish their softball game instead of…
Children’s entertainer miraculously revealed not to be a molester
LOS ANGELES – The child entertainment industry was rocked today by the news that late children’s TV personality and host of The Flower Hour Peter Plantman, had, despite his career choice an…