TORONTO – Proving once again that they are the toughest professional athletes on planet Earth, NHL players took to the ice last night, overcoming a litany of injuries and moral qualms about…
Tag: Black Lives Matter
Where are they now? We sat down with Don Cherry and immediately regretted it
In November 2019, beloved hockey commentator Don Cherry was fired from Hockey Night In Canada, after he made comments claiming immigrants were disrespecting fallen Canadian veterans by not purcha…
Street performer who pretends to be statues getting nervous
TORONTO – As Black Lives Matter protests across North America have begun calling for the dismantling of statues that uphold values of white supremacy, local bronze-painted statue performer …
Toronto Police warn protesters against vandalizing symbols of white supremacy, citing difficulty of removing paint from uniforms
TORONTO — Following the arrest of three Black Lives Matter – Toronto protesters over the act of dousing racist monuments in bright pink paint, Toronto Police are threatening considerable le…
Execs beg Tim Hortons CEO not to release Black Lives Matter specialty donut
TORONTO – Executives at Canada’s most beloved/least edible fast food chain Tim Hortons have been begging company CEO Daniel Schwartz not to release the planned specialty donut “honouring” t…
In push for racial unity, white woman volunteers to try jerk chicken
TORONTO – In solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement and in an attempt to solve racial unrest once and for all, a local white woman volunteered to try jerk chicken for the very firs…
Man who said ‘Believe All Women’ clarifies he did not mean the ones accusing him
OTTAWA – Kyle Traylor, self-proclaimed feminist, recently amended his previous claims that we should ‘Believe All Women,’ indicating that, “Yes of course we need to believe all women” but t…
Local ally imagines how proud his Black friends would be about this social media post if he had any
Lethbridge, AB – Local white man Jeffrey Travers is having the time of his life imagining all the praise he would receive from his imaginary Black friends for his pro-Black Lives Matter soc…
Black Lives Matter lawn sign is white neighbourhood’s most esteemed activist
OTTAWA — Residents of Westpointe, a suburban neighbourhood known for being very very white, are taking a stand against anti-Black racism thanks to a local activist they call “the most distinguish…
Progressive! Crayola finally acknowledges the white crayon is useless
NEW YORK, NY- In wake of the worldwide outcry for increased equality, handicraft company Crayola has released a long-awaited statement admitting that white crayons have no real function and shoul…