GATINEAU, QC – Matilda Hammond, a work-from-home closed-caption writer, caught up with some university pals at a bar for three hours last month, and then rewarded herself by spending the ne…
Tag: anxiety
Local woman spices up life by swinging wildly between depression and anxiety
EDMONTON, AB – Local interior designer Rebecca McCallops has found a new lease on her otherwise humdrum life by veering wildly between bouts of depression and anxiety. “I was in a really he…
Local man relieved COVID symptoms actually just depression
CALGARY, AB – After displaying numerous symptoms of COVID-19, local accounts manager Bryan Gramble has reported feeling a wave of relief upon discovering all of the symptoms were actually r…
Local man schedules his authoritarianism anxiety around his pandemic anxiety
RED DEER, MB – Local man Marcus Strohn has reported creating an efficient schedule that balances his anxiety over the worldwide COVID-19 pandemic with his anxiety over the creeping global m…
Watchful cat beginning to make introverted ceiling demon nervous
VANCOUVER – A demon that resides in the corner of the Johnson family’s living room ceiling has been growing increasingly concerned about the attentions of its host family’s 14-year-old cat, Mr. S…
75% of dogs’ nighttime anxiety caused by humans having sex in front of them
VANCOUVER – A new study from the University of British Columbia has officially proven that – similar to humans – dogs feel acute anxiety at nighttime, and that this anxiety is d…
Local woman stays just informed enough to be angry and sad all the time
ST. JOHN’S — Local marketing consultant Ashley McEwan is focusing on her own emotional well-being by reading precisely enough news to be filled with pervasive existential dread at all times…
Travel blogger posts photos of staycation spent lying in own filth
TORONTO – Popular travel blogger Anderson Patrick Cole has decided to document his most exhilarating adventure yet: a three-week staycation at home, spent lying in his own filth. “I have be…
Meditation class helps local man be present in the shitty, shitty moment
Salmon Arm, BC – Local resident Tobias Efinggs is praising a recent mediation course as truly helping him to be more mindful and live in the terrible, awful present. “I used to spend my tim…
Women! Stop worrying about your “bikini body.” Here are 6 other things you can worry about instead!
The world has embraced body positivity: You don’t need to be a certain way in order to be beautiful! So now what spring is upon us, why not spend your limited time on this Earth worrying about a …