Man quits family to spend more time with job
TORONTO, ON – The difficulty of balancing work life and family life led local businessman Ricky Canker to quit his family of three children and one wife last Tuesday, in order to devote mor…
Man invents new Slurpee flavour by mixing the shit out of the other ones
WINNIPEG – Local resident and regular 7-11 patron Dale Brattigan laid claim to a new Slurpee flavour last Tuesday by combining all available flavours into one large cup and mixing the shit …
Local man likes to think he’s funny
SCARBOROUGH, ON – After watching a comedy special featuring several top comics, 36-year-old suburbanite Peter Wisken made a formal announcement Thursday evening regarding his long-held belief tha…
Beatles fan unimpressed by rest of humanity
WINNIPEG – Remarking on the state of the music industry, self-described “Beatles maniac” Gilbert Planter told friends and co-workers that no real music has been produced by huma…
Majestic tidal bore described as ‘total bore’ by local teen
TRURO, NOVA SCOTIA – After spending an afternoon with his father driving out to witness a tidal bore—a phenomenon that resembles a miniature tidal wave—local teen Derek Hanswicks described …
