School bully suspended: cafeteria sees strong third quarter gains
BARRIE, ON – A middle school cafeteria in Barrie is experiencing significant gains on a number of its food products following the suspension of notable sixth grade bully Reese “Kit Kat” Kot…
It’s getting pretty crowded around here with all of this high-definition porn you’ve downloaded lately
By Local Disk (C:) The other day I started a spring cleaning project and, oh boy, things have gotten crowded in here. I don’t mean to be petty, but if you could cut back on your downloading, I’d …
Will and Kate face anti-monarchy protests in Quebec
After receiving a warm welcome during their visit to Ottawa, The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge were met with hostile chants from a group of separatists during their visit to Montreal. What’…
Man accidentally makes eye contact on subway
MONTREAL – During a routine commute, Montreal Metro patron Josh Ditton accidentally made eye contact with another commuter in an event the 32 year old office assistant described as “very aw…
Local couple still find time to fight after all these years
GUELPH, ON – Despite their busy schedules at a local law firm, Jan Dirtz and Dan Dirtz, married 16 years, still make time to fight with each other whenever they can. “To keep the spark in o…
CEO calls it a day after long morning at work
CALGARY – Feeling the need to call it a day after a long morning of work, Global Oil Corp. CEO Marvin Bradley told his secretary to cancel his afternoon appointments. The tired CEO, who’s j…
Google buys U.S. government
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA – Google Inc. has purchased U.S. Govt, a service which creates and passes laws. “We’re thrilled to welcome the U.S. Government to Google,” a Google spoke…
