The Beaverton

Joey Votto: ‘Can I have $10 million now?’

CINCINNATI, OH – In a telephone conversation with his agent shortly after winning the National League MVP, Cincinnati Reds first baseman Joey Votto repeatedly asked if he was now going to e…

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University nerds to launch Naked Girl Rover

TORONTO – University of Toronto nerds announced earlier today plans to launch a small rover to the women’s change room in the university’s Athletic Centre late in 2011. The Naked Girl Rover…

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I can slide rule your ass under the table

By Donald Testa Sr., Professor of Engineering Queen’s University Quick, what’s 529 divided by 23? What’s the matter, forget your 23 times table, you miserable excuse for an engineering graduate? …

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