Greedy, overpaid teacher takes second greedy, overpaid job at grocery store
No Frills, Ontario – Wealth-hoarding public school teachers across the province are starting to take second jobs after complaining that the hundreds of dollars they make per year isn’t enou…
Anti-LGBTQ+ protestors warn exposing kids to queer content will lead to uptick in Dan Levy gifs
OTTAWA – In the midst of Canada-wide protests from anti-LGBTQ+ hate groups, protestors warn that teaching inclusive curriculums will increase the volume of online reaction gifs featuring si…
Haligonians marvel at city’s first two-way street
HALIFAX – Residents of Nova Scotia’s capital were left in amazement this week, as the city unveiled its first-ever street featuring traffic that flows in more than one direction. “Today is …
Everything Israel is doing to minimize civilian casualties in Gaza
As Israel continues its bombing campaign in Gaza in an effort to destroy Hamas, they are taking a number of steps to minimize civilian casualties. Here they are: 1. Tell the media they are doing …
Canada calls for 5 minute water break in Israel bombing campaign
OTTAWA – Continuing our country’s long standing role as a global leader in humanitarian causes, the government of Canada has stepped forward and announced its support for a 5 minute w…
Child affected by book bans occupies time watching pornography and violent videos instead
PETERBOROUGH, ON ― Local child Raymond Connor, 9, has drastically improved his skills at multiple first-person shooter games this past month, as book bans have come into effect at his school boar…
Entangled dolphin wears fishnets for Halloween
News in Photos…
Sexy devil Luigi nurse costume starting to lose the plot
VICTORIA – Taylor Hawkins’ elaborate Halloween costume has confounded everyone at the party she’s attending, according to local sources. “Okay, so Satan and his minions sometimes take attractive…
Man with high pitched warbling voice dies, becomes ghost with clear, deep voice
ST JOHN’S — The late Alan Hynes has surprised friends and relatives by reappearing in spectral form, able to communicate in a voice that’s suddenly low, resonant and intelligible. “I don’t know …
Paranoid parent checks child’s trick-or-treat haul for rainbow-coloured candies
BELLEVILLE, ON ― In order to prevent anybody from slipping in something that might cause no end of imaginary harm to her daughter, local mother Jenna Bailey instructed her 8-year-old today not to…
