Trudeau will host slumber party for next fundraising event
OTTAWA – After disappointing some attendees at last night’s fundraiser gala, Justin Trudeau has assured that a slumber party is the next big event for his loyal female fan-base. “I kn…
NHL considers re-naming Ottawa Senators to something less dysfunctional and sad
OTTAWA – NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman and Ottawa Senators owner Eugene Melnyk have announced their desire to find a less depressing and tedious namesake for the Ottawa based hockey team. “We exp…
PQ government demands immigrants learn french so they understand xenophobic insults
QUÉBEC – Quebec Premier Pauline Marois and the Minister Bernard Drainville, have mandated that all newcomers learn french so that they can comprehend the bigoted slanders made against them.…
Memorial University of Newfoundland: University Reviews 2013
Name: Memorial University of Newfoundland Nickname: “Ol’ Technically Part of Canada” Motto: “G’wan wich ya! She’s some lop on da pond dere, buddy what?” History: Founded in 1925 by J.L Paton as …
Blackberry announces new CEO by a lake of singing swans
WATERLOO – In front of a pristine lake populated by mute swans, Blackberry’s most senior downtrodden executives introduced John Chen as the company’s new CEO. “We thought the backdrop of the lake…
UbiSoft Montreal spent $373M to update axes in Assassin’s Creed Black Flag
MONTREAL– The Assassin’s Creed video game received a massive update on their inventory of axes as UbiSoft Montreal invested all of their recent $373M on the one thing they do well. &#…
November to become Female Pubic Hair Appreciation Month
VICTORIA – A new charity, Novembeaver, is looking to draw awareness to ovarian cancer research with women being encouraged to grow out their pubic hair for charity. “We like to think …
Queen’s University: The Beaverton University Reviews
Name: Queen’s University Nickname: Ol’ Money, Ol’ Problems Motto: “We go to Queen’s, do you?” History: Founded in 1841 in honour of Queen Victoria’s money, Queen’s University was the…
Rob Ford: ‘In drunken stupor, I once tried being mayor’
TORONTO – At a scrum in front of his office, Toronto mayor Rob Ford admitted that a year ago, in one of his drunken stupors, he may have tried municipal politics. Ford’s erratic behaviour, …
Report: Neither man willing to admit high-five was too hard
KAMLOOPS, BC – In celebration of a small pay raise two men engaged in a high-five that neither of them are willing to admit was extremely painful and possibly permanently damaging. “H…
