New Netflix prompt invites users to log into The Pirate Bay every 31 days
TORONTO – Amid ongoing crackdowns on password sharing, Netflix executives have announced they will be rolling out a new prompt inviting users to log into popular torrenting site “The Pirate…
[Team] wins Stanley Cup
NORTH AMERICAN CITY – After a hard-fought series that went [number] games, the Stanley Cup has been awarded to [team], a victory by the [favourites/underdogs] that many analysts [predicted/failed…
“I’ll probably be shot before I graduate” replaces “my dog ate it” as #1 American homework excuse
WASHINGTON, DC ― According to reports from teachers in dozens of states, the classic excuse “my dog ate it” has been displaced in favour of citing the futility of studying for a life that will be…
Trudeau announces that David Johnston to be replaced by Xi Jinping
OTTAWA – Amid backlash against the appointment of former Governor General David Johnston as special rapporteur on foreign election interference which resulted in his resignation, Prime Minister T…
Forest fires across Canada kick off annual Dystopian Hellscape season
QUEBEC CITY – From orange skies at midday and the hacking cough of ash-filled lungs, to hectares of scorched forest and the eerie lingering odour of “downtown ghost campfire,” the familiar …
Sport about to be passed in popularity by world’s 5th best soccer league sees no reason to change
NEW YORK CITY – The NHL, a league who will soon make less money and attract fewer eyeballs than the propreantepenultimate name in soccer, the MLS, announced they will make no significant ch…
Fired employee indicted for stealing from workplace
MIAMI – A former employee of the United States federal government who was let go due to extreme incompetence has just been indicted on charges of stealing from his erstwhile employer. Donal…
Breaking: Trump indicted for the thing you thought he was indicted for last time
MIAMI – Former President Donald Trump has been indicted for his handling of classified information since leaving office, which is apparently not the thing he was indicted for in March. R…
Alberta man acting real cocky about all the wildfire smoke he’s breathed in over the years
CALGARY – Local man Carl Mangan has spent much of the week posting on all social media available to him how Ontarians and Quebecers worried about breathing in the harmful pollutants in the …
