Parliament’s Elf On The Shelf turns out to be Pierre Poilievre in a little scarf
OTTAWA – Shockwaves spread throughout the House this week when staffers realized that the vaguely threatening elf watching their every move was actually the leader of the Opposition in a fe…
Why I refuse to say “Happy Holidays”: I’m sad
TORONTO — It’s that time of year again; The lights are shining, the snow is falling, and “woke moralists” are forcing me to say “Happy Holidays”. But this year I’m taking a stand. I won’t say it!…
Most popular Christmas special in each province
There’s nothing more Canadian than avoiding the increasingly wet winter weather by hiding inside and watching your favourite Christmas special. Check out this list of the most popula…
“Circle back after the holidays” workload building up
TORONTO – In the corporate world, employees are finding that their “circle back after the holidays” workload is building up to critical levels. Jason Raynor works as a project manager for a…
Tesla clarifies not all of its cars have been recalled: “You can keep the exploded ones”
AUSTIN, TX –In an auto recall of unprecedented scale, the electric car maker Tesla is set to offer free updates for 2,000,000 cars in the US and Canada but insists this doesn’t mean that they’re …
“Counting games in hand we’re only the 2nd worst team in the East,” says Sens fan who picked them to make Conference Finals
OTTAWA – Having earned only 22 points the Ottawa Senators are last in the eastern conference standings. But given their games in hand they’re actually only second worst, as Sens fans …
Teen listening intently to grandmother for deep dive on latest “Nanalore”
RAWDON, QC – Local teen Ben Glasgow, age 16, was listening intently to his grandmother’s origin story to catch up on the latest “Nanalore” drop. His grandmother, Grace Glasgow, was recounti…
“Well, that’s not how they do it in Winnipeg,” says man who just returned from Winnipeg
TORONTO – After a recent weekend spent in far-flung Winnipeg, Gerald Skinner is regaling friends and family with tales of life in the exotic international city. “A chicken finger, you say? Intere…
Celebrating 20 years of legalizing same-sex marriage in Ontario: here are 5 of the most boring gay couples
20 years ago, Ontario became the first Canadian province to legalize same-sex marriage, paving the way for the other provinces, and eventually the whole country, to allow gay couples who are as b…
Audience at Shakespeare play guesses soliloquy means “he’s upset about something”
HALIFAX — The audience at Neptune Theatre’s recent production of Coriolanus came to the conclusion that, in the titular character’s soliloquy in Act Four, Scene Four, he’s angry. “He seemed prett…
