Exclusive: New Avengers movie to feature scene not shown in trailers
NEW YORK – Marvel Entertainment announced today that Avengers: Infinity War, the latest entry in its popular superhero franchise, will feature some content not shown in the trailers. “We ar…
Vatican City Olympic team stripped of medals after testing positive for performance-enhancing God
PYEONGCHANG – The Papal Olympic team is mired in controversy after a recent IOC test revealed the entire team has been using banned celestial beings during the 2018 Pyeongchang games. “When…
Ottawa Senators head into trade deadline looking to acquire dedicated fan base
OTTAWA – With the NHL’s trade deadline rapidly approaching, franchises are looking to improve the strength of their team by any means necessary. For the Ottawa Senators this means heading i…
Valerie Plante approval rating drops after she bans running down cyclists on Mount Royal
MONTREAL — Recently elected Montreal mayor Valerie Plante’s approval rating has plummeted once again after announcing a controversial ban against driving your car into, and running o…
Canada’s men’s hockey team could not bear the shame of defeat, so they had a zamboni run them over
One of the amazing things about the Olympics is the emotional journey it takes us on. For every gold medal triumph, there is heartbreaking disappointment. After losing to Germany in the semifinal…
Study reveals ratio of “Netflix” to “chilling” at all time low
TORONTO – Shattering the expectation of internet memes everywhere, new research out of the University of Toronto indicates that full incidents of Netflix and chilling combined are at histor…
Indian PM promises to dress up like a Mountie, bring a convicted FLQ terrorist the next time he visits Canada
DELHI – Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi plans on reciprocating Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s efforts at embracing culture by dressing up as a Mountie and inviting a con…
Trump announces plan to arm firefighters with fire
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a bid to put an end to the longstanding epidemic of random fires breaking out across the nation, President Trump has put forward a bold plan to combat them by arming firefigh…
Republicans attack CNN for not interviewing “pro-school shooting” teens
WASHINGTON – Republican lawmakers and activists are pointing to the lack of teenage supporters of school shootings on CNN as another example of liberal bias in the media. “The question we n…
Canadian women’s hockey team Olympic silver medal really let country down, says 42-year-old unemployed loser
MATTAWA, ON – Following an overtime loss in the gold medal hockey game, local man Douglas Birch became vocal on social media about the national shame brought on by Canada’s 2nd place result…
