CRA in blind panic after someone completes tax return in January
OTTAWA – The Canadian Revenue Agency is reportedly in a state of total meltdown after receiving a complete tax report in the first few weeks of the new year. “I have no idea how the fuck th…
6 long winter coats that say “I’m definitely wearing pajamas under here”
Winter is full of small joys – like sipping hot chocolate by the fire, looking at twinkly Christmas lights, and stomping all over snow forts that children spent hours building. But the absolute b…
Court rules convoy must return to Ottawa after finding Emergencies Act unreasonable
OTTAWA – Following the ruling that the Liberal government’s 2022 use of the Emergencies Act was unreasonable, a Federal judge has ordered that all convoy protestors be welcomed back t…
Previously retired CanadARM bagging groceries to make ends meet
REGINA, SK – Due to rising food prices, inflation, and the general cost of living, the formerly-retired CanadaARM1 has rejoined the workforce by taking on a part-time job at Loblaws. “A lot…
The jig is up! Saskatchewan announces they were just fucking with everyone about the whole ‘bunny hug’ thing
SASKATOON – Officials from across the province of Saskatchewan held a press conference to come clean and admit that they were just fucking with everyone about the whole calling a hoodie a “…
Oscar the Grouch criticized for giving children unrealistic housing goals
TORONTO – Sesame Street character Oscar the Grouch has come under fire for setting unattainable housing goals for children by TV critic Madeline Wathers. Famously, Oscar the Grouch lives in…
Minister of Housing concerned there might not be a way to fix the housing crisis without upsetting some people
OTTAWA – Housing Minister Sean Fraser has expressed concern that his government may not be able to fix the nation’s housing crisis in a way that will make literally everyone happy. “It’s re…
Read the curriculum for Jordan Peterson’s court ordered social media training
Jordan Peterson has once again lost his appeal of the College Of Psychologists’ Order that he take mandatory social media training or risk losing his license for making degrading statements…
Toronto Liberal MPs accuse Olivia Chow of trying to help Toronto
TORONTO – Several Toronto-area Liberal MPs have furiously accused the city’s newly-elected mayor of a devious and irresponsible plot to “actually advocate for Toronto”. &#…
Court declares Jordan Peterson has to take “how not to be an asshole” class
TORONTO – The Court of Appeal for Ontario has rejected noted psychologist and asshole Jordan Peterson’s attempt to avoid attending an anti-assholery class required by the College of Psychol…
