5 events to watch at the Olympics which we DEFINITELY remembered were happening
What, they’re still doing that? Like with Omicron and everything? I mean, hello, and welcome to the 2022 Winter Games happening in… wait until Wikipedia refreshes… Beijing! Wait, is that a typo? …
Total hypocrite! This man doesn’t want police to violently attack homeless but does want them to ticket convoy holding city hostage
OTTAWA – Local hypocrite Kai Green has expressed his support for Ottawa police writing tickets for truckers who are making life miserable for residents by honking all day and night, despite…
Date night downgraded to hand stuff night
LETHBRIDGE – According to local sources, Alex and Taylor Shepherd’s plans for a date night have been scaled back to lethargic hand stuff in front of the TV. “I was going to treat Alex to dinner a…
Winter Olympics add new event for cross-country infection
LAUSANNE, SWITZERLAND – In response to growing concerns about the highly-infectious Omicron variant, the International Olympic Committee has opted to do the right thing and add a new event …
Vanilla Ice hopes Spotify notices he also removed his music in Joe Rogan protest
Stockholm, Sweden – After Neil Young has made headlines for removing his music from Spotify in protest of Joe Rogan’s COVID misinformation, Vanilla Ice has removed his music in the hopes so…
Erin O’Toole ousted to make way for new CPC leader: this Fuck Trudeau flag
OTTAWA – Conservative Party leader Erin O’Toole has been removed in a caucus revolt, and will be replaced by a “Fuck Trudeau” flag that one of the MPs found outside Parliament Hill. The sec…
Editorial: I don’t celebrate Groundhog Day because I honour groundhogs every day of the year
As February 2nd approaches, and I watch my friends and family stress over making the perfect plans for Groundhog Day, I can’t help but sit back and watch in bewilderment. Because you see, for me…
Convoy protesters hope to garner national sympathy by terrorizing locals
OTTAWA – Freedom Convoy organizers say they are asking the citizens of Ottawa to be a little more understanding towards their tactics in bullying, law-breaking, and psychological warfare as…
Happy Groundhog Day 2020!
Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don’t forget your booties ’cause it’s cooooold out there today! Ha ha, just a little holiday movie reference humour for you, as Canadians from…
