TORONTO – In response to the number of severe head injuries professional hockey players have suffered in recent years, the National Hockey League has banned all players from getting concuss…
Sports
NHL considers re-naming Ottawa Senators to something less dysfunctional and sad
OTTAWA – NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman and Ottawa Senators owner Eugene Melnyk have announced their desire to find a less depressing and tedious namesake for the Ottawa based hockey team. “We exp…
Dave Keon begins crafting hit single in hopes of finally getting banner in ACC
TORONTO – With Bon Jovi successfully getting a banner at the Air Canada Centre, former Toronto Maple Leaf legend Dave Keon has decided to emulate the band’s approach to finally get his numb…
Parros’ mustache fails to break his fall
MONTREAL — Habs enforcer George Parros was released from hospital yesterday after his mustache failed to break his fall during a third period brawl with the Leafs’ Colton Orr. “I spen…
Blue Jays playing last game to catch up to Expos
TORONTO – The Blue Jays’ playoff push may have ended 160 games ago but on the baseball season’s final day, there is still hope that they can finish ahead of the Montreal Expos. “It’s been a…
Andrei Markov excited to miss most of Canadiens’ season with this year’s injury
BROSSARD, QC – With preseason hockey in full swing Montreal Canadiens defenseman Andrei Markov is excited to find out what injury will sideline him for the majority of the season this year…
NHL14 video game has Toronto Maple Leaf ‘collapse’ cheat code
TORONTO – The famous Toronto Maple Leaf collapse during last year’s playoffs has now been immortalized with a cheat code in EA Sport’s NHL 14. “I was frustrated,” said Frank Gannon, 3…
Summer team building exercise ruined after Habs team too short for roller coasters
MONTREAL – A morale-building exercise for the Montreal Canadiens ended before it started when players were not permitted on most of the rides at a Montreal amusement p Michel Therrien, the …
