SACRAMENTO, CA – California Governor Gavin Newsom announced yesterday that the Mars Rover, Perseverance, was going to have to pay a significant fine for breaking the COVID-19 rules on non-e…
Science and Technology
Experts baffled after so many lives enriched by Reddit
NATIONWIDE – Following the success of the Gamestop short-squeeze largely instigated by the r/wallstreetbets subreddit, many experts are amazed to witness the website acting as a positive fo…
Made-in-Canada vaccine is honestly just happy to be here
NATIONWIDE – A made-in-Canada vaccine has begun human clinical trials this week and sources reveal that it’s just happy to be in the mix. “I guess we’re a little late to the party, eh?” sai…
COVID vaccine gives hope to hundreds who love arguing about vaccines
NATIONWIDE – With the current rollout beginning for the Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine, many people across the country are excited about the chance to have bitter arguments about the safety and ef…
Sony pulls broken, glitching Cyberpunk 2077 game, rebrands it as Cyberpunk 2020
SAN MATEO, CA – Following reports that its newly-released Cyberpunk 2077 game has been riddled with release problems and frustrating glitches, Sony has pulled the game from its online store…
Typo leads NASA to plan mission to Mark
HOUSTON – Following a copyediting oversight in NASA’s annual budget request, the U.S. government has approved financing for the space agency to conduct its first manned mission to Mark. The…
Elon Musk unveils advanced mining drill that goes deep enough to pull his head out from his ass
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Tesla CEO Elon Musk announced plans for a new thermo-mining drill today that would have the capacity to drill deep enough to pull his head out of his ass. “Today i…
NASA announces the Moon will soon activate all the werewolves “just because it can”
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The American National Aeronautics and Space Administration held a press conference today to announce their discovery that the Moon will soon be forcing every lycanthrope …
Digital Thanksgiving: Shortcuts to muting the anti-mask rants of your relatives
Are you tired of hearing about your uncle’s ‘Plandemic’ opinions or how governments are infringing on your aunt’s right to infect other people at the grocery store? Fortunately, digital Thanksgiv…
Trump endorsed by Pseudoscientific American Magazine
DALLAS – Following the news that Scientific American has endorsed a presidential candidate for the first time in its 175 year history, its rival publication, Pseudoscientific American, the …
