OTTAWA – With a shortage of kidneys, lungs, hearts and other vital organs, the Canadian Society of Transplantation is challenging more Canadians to take up reckless, ill-advised activities …
National
Justin Trudeau admits to trying wine
OTTAWA – Liberal leader Justin Trudeau has continued coming-out to the public regarding his recreational substance use, admitting today that he has tried wine at least once since becoming a…
Canada only finds Arctic interesting, attractive when someone else wants it
In light of the American and Russian advances towards the Arctic, Canada has suddenly realized how much the Arctic means to it. With thinning of sea ice, the leaner and sexier version of the Cana…
Harper responds to Trudeau’s marijuana use by admitting he once didn’t use bike helmet since becoming PM
OTTAWA – After Justin Trudeau admitted to smoking pot while he was an MP, Prime Minister Stephen Harper confessed today that he once failed to take proper safety measures while riding his b…
Harper prorogues parliament to catch up on Breaking Bad, Mad Men
WHITEHORSE – Prime Minister Harper announced today that he will be proroguing Parliament until October so he can get up to speed with his favorite AMC television shows. “This has been a grueling …
University of Ottawa‘s School of Government delayed with missing paperwork, long lines
OTTAWA – The University of Ottawa’s has been forced to delay the opening its faculty of governance studies due to the bureaucratic process. “Despite our foresight to build a national, non-p…
Ezra Levant upset government will not subsidize his rants against government subsidies
TORONTO – Sun News media commentator and conservative activist Ezra Levant is disappointed that his regular editorials against government funding various programs and services will not be s…
Ottawa reminds nation that ‘veterans’ are not mentioned in ‘Support our Troops’
OTTAWA – After federal government lawyers argued that the government has no social obligation to veterans, the Minister of Veteran Affairs clarified that the term “veteran” was not contained in t…
Alberta fisherman lands 300 pound ball of tar
LAKE ATHABASCA, AB – After hours of fruitless waiting, Alberta fisherman Darren Rose’s patience was rewarded by the “once-in-a-lifetime” catch of a compacted mass of bitumen sand and fish s…
