OTTAWA — With the news that Alice Munro has won the Nobel Prize for literature, Canadians from coast to coast are now pretending to have read her collected works in record figures. ‘The Vie…
National
Senator paid $298k to do no work paid friend $65k to do no work
OTTAWA – Embattled Senator Mike Duffy is in further legal trouble after RCMP reports claim he used a portion of his $298,310 expenses to do the same work as a senator. “The Senator pa…
Nova Scotia elects premier most Canadians will never hear about again
HALIFAX – Nova Scotians headed to the polls to elect a person that will never be heard from again by anyone outside of the province. The vast, uninterested masses of Canadians, will go back…
Nova Scotia election services offered in both English and Cape Bretoner
HALIFAX – Elections Nova Scotia has announced that its services will be offered in two Nova Scotian dialects on election day; english and Cape Bretoner. “We’re quite pleased to see that Cap…
PROROGATION UPDATE: Parliament more productive when prorogued
OTTAWA – MPs who were worried that the prorogation of Parliament would send Canadian democracy grinding to a halt can’t believe how much they’re getting done. “Freed from Question Period,” Libera…
Kingston Pen institutes ‘Adopt-an-Inmate’ program to find prisoners new homes
KINGSTON – Correctional Service Canada has instituted an adoption program to find new prisons for the 494 inmates currently held at Kingston Penitentiary when the facility closes after 178 …
REPORT: Dudes called ‘Boomer’ nearing extinction
OTTAWA – A report issued yesterday by the International Institute for Endangered Nicknames announced that the global population of dudes nicknamed “Boomer” has reached an all ti…
Elizabeth May expels herself from caucus for not toeing party line
OTTAWA – MP Elizabeth May will now sit as an independent after being booted from the single-member Green Party caucus by herself earlier this morning. Green Party leader Elizabeth May said …
Study: Winnipeg still exists
Somewhere in Manitoba – Researchers have determined that a city once thought to be lost in the Manitoban wilderness is continuing to endure. The existence of Winnipeg [pronounced “Win-uh-pe…
Harper vows to work closely with CRA to ensure future corruption occurs only internally
OTTAWA – The Harper Government is responding to the recent Revenue Canada Agency scandal in which nearly $400,000 in rebates was issued to a member of a reputed mobster by promising to work…
