OTTAWA – Before the start of what will be the political trial of the year, the jurors deciding the fate of embattled Senator Mike Duffy have inexplicably all received a cheque for $90,000. …
National
Senate announces $2 million national inquiry to investigate cold cases of cheese
OTTAWA – Conservative Senator Nancy Ruth along with dozens of other upper chamber members have announced the Senate’s intention to launch a comprehensive inquiry into the victims of cold ch…
Future Shop employees receive severance pay in Best Buy gift cards
TORONTO – 1,500 former employees of Future Shop Canada will receive a generous severance package of Best Buy gift certificates valued at $25 or more. Best Buy, the parent company of Future …
Canada will drop ‘very smart bombs’ programmed to understand complexities of Syrian conflict
OTTAWA – Defence Minister Jason Kenney has assured the Canadian public the bombs being dropped on Syria will be of the ‘very smart bomb’ variety fully capable of understanding the complicat…
Government removes ‘Trans’ from Trans-Canada Highway citing family values
OTTAWA – Canada’s transcontinental highway will get a name change after several Conservative MPs and Senators expressed discomfort with the current name. The Conservative caucus accused the…
Feds ask workers with disabilities to shred policy on human decency before laying them off
OTTAWA – The federal government has made one final request to 50 wastepaper workers with intellectual disabilities before they are laid off and the work given to more expensive private comp…
CSIS oversight committee moves into new quarters at YMCA
OTTAWA – Responsible for overseeing the newly expanded powers of the Canadian spy agency CSIS, the Security Intelligence Review Committee has just moved into a 240 square-foot office comple…
Health Minister to allow 3-parent babies as long as she is one of the parents
OTTAWA – A medical procedure that would give children the cellular material of three parents has been legalized, as long as one of the parents is Health Minister Rona Ambrose. “This bill wi…
Report: Nation’s dads still in the bathroom
CANADA – Reports are coming in from across the nation confirming that, despite taking more than enough time, Canada’s fathers have yet to exit the bathroom. “We don’t want to alarm anyone, …
Tory MP Larry Miller apologizes for racist comments which he still stands by and does not apologize for
OWEN SOUND – Conservative MP Larry Miller has apologized for telling women wearing the niqab to “stay the hell where you came from”, a claim which he refuses to apologize for. “My comments …
