CORNWALL, ON ― 39-year-old landscaper Talia Arsenault became painfully aware of her total lack of refinement recently, when a symphony that had weathered centuries of cultural change thanks to it…
Entertainment
New horror movie somehow not a metaphor for trauma
BRANDON, MB – Scary movie enthusiasts are stunned after discovering that a recent popular horror film is in no way an allegory for grief, PTSD, or intergenerational trauma. The 2025 film, N…
Creators of AI-generated actress unsure if coolest part is the creepiness or the stealing
PALO ALTO, CA – The inventors of Tilly Norwood, a computer generated character built using artificial intelligence, enthusiastically insist their creation is both unsettlingly lifeless and …
New Tron movie looks pretty co – aw, shit is Jared Leto in this?
Saint John, New Brunswick – Initial excitement over the latest entry in Disney’s sci-fi Tron franchise was ruined when it was discovered it also stars Jared Leto. During a recent family mov…
Riyadh Comedy Festival opens with up-and-coming executioner
RIYADH, KSA – As Saudi Arabia’s new comedy festival welcomes talent from around the world, local executioner Imad Usman is excited for the opportunity to perform in front of larger audiences. “I…
Trump’s Hollywood tariffs force Dune 3 to shoot in Mississippi
Jackson, Arrakis – President Donald Trump’s proposed tariffs on movies filmed in other countries has forced Dune producers to relocate to Jackson, Mississippi. “It doesn’t quite match the d…
Homophobic! Single lesbian has no girlfriend to watch Lilith Fair documentary with
TORONTO – Local lesbian Charlotte Tremblay reports recently experiencing a terrible incident of targeted discrimination after realizing she has no girlfriend to watch the new Lilith Fair document…
Return of Jimmy Kimmel Show cheered by frazzled parents who white knuckled it through a weekend without Disney+
BURBANK, CA – The Walt Disney Company has announced late night host Jimmy Kimmel will return to ABC, a move cheered by free speech advocates and even more so by exhausted parents who cancel…
James McAvoy not sure which of his movies he got punched for
TORONTO – While in town for the Toronto International Film Festival, where he was sucker-punched in a nearby bar by a random patron, actor James McAvoy feels certain that it was likely perp…
SNL casts Canadian provided she can evade ICE at border
NEW YORK – Sketch comedy institution Saturday Night Live has announced the addition of its first new Canadian cast member in decades, Veronika Slowikowska, contingent on her not being captu…
