BRAMPTON, ON — Shoppers Drug Marts across the country have begun rolling out promotions for their new “PC Opium Points Points” program — a groundbreaking initiative that offers redeemable points …
Man delighted to discover his New Yorker tote bag is the perfect size to keep his stack of unread New Yorkers
TORONTO – After nearly four months of isolation, a New Yorker tote bag has found itself a greater purpose outside the dusty kitchen cabinets it once called home, “future graduate student” Samuel …
Caledon teen debates pawning grandparent’s Royal Canadian Mint collection to pay for coke
CALEDON, ON – Last Friday, Davin Charles, 17, was gifted a collection of Royal Canadian Mint, forcing Charles into a difficult predicament when he realized it’s resale value was the equivalent of…
Editorial: It’s time we think about canceling babies
By Fantine Hathaway Babies are the purest manifestation of narcissism and entitlement. It’s 2019 and I am ready to speak my truth; babies must be cancelled! I can say that because I’ve been a bab…
Parents finally buy 30-year-old woman Motorola Razr
TORONTO – After nearly two decades, a family feud was finally put to rest during a celebratory dinner after 30-year-old Karleigh Byrne was gifted a Motorola Razr V3 by her parents for her recent …
“Aspartame is bad for you,” says friend who just snorted gigantic line of ketamine
MONTREAL – Moments after doing a line of ketamine last night, Holden Morrisey, 23, revealed to an astonished crowd of warehouse partygoers that the can of Diet Coke his friend was holding would l…
Most affordable apartments in Toronto revealed to be bathroom stalls in club
TORONTO – A young professional in Toronto was astonished to learn that the city’s most affordable apartments are actually located in the bathroom stalls of a club, whose name and location remains…