TORONTO – In the wake of Toronto Mayor John Tory’s shocking announcement that he will be stepping down after admitting he had an affair with a staffer earlier this year, residents across th…
5 essential pieces for your nuclear winter wardrobe
It’s never been a better time to pick up some sturdy essentials that will keep you cute and cozy through a period of severe and prolonged global cooling brought on by a nuclear catastrophe! 1. A …
Mask-free passenger at last tastes exquisite bacchanalian delight of unprotected airplane air
AIRSPACE — Following lifting of mask mandates for air and train travel, passengers across Canada are finally free to reemerge into the sensual garden of pleasures waiting for them on the inside o…
Canadian women rest easy in the knowledge misogyny uniquely American problem
OTTAWA – Across the nation, women are reacting to today’s horrifying news that the U.S. Supreme Court has struck down Roe v. Wade with compassion for their American counterparts, but are taking c…
Editorial: I could have saved you from all of this, you beautiful little fools – By Jeb Bush
Oh my lovelies, my pretty little Américaines… how far have you fallen? I never could have believed that even after you decided Trump was the man for you, that you would be brought this low.…
Mental health experts recommend eating a block of Parmesan over the sink and lying about it
In these difficult times, many are struggling to maintain good mental health in the face of social isolation and economic uncertainty. Health experts warn that it’s important to make time and spa…
Guy wearing brown cape hopefully just quirky and not some weird new kind of white supremacist
OTTAWA – According to reports, a man spotted wearing a brown cape with a little hood is, dear God let’s hope, just really into Lord of the Rings or something and not wearing this as a kind of sig…
Inspiring! These men aren’t voting for Trump and that’s really how low the bar is at this point
In these challenging times, it’s important to stop and notice people standing up for good and doing the right thing. That’s why we should be grateful that, on the eve of the election, hundreds of…
Trump hoping he just gets fired so he can at least collect unemployment
WASHINGTON, DC – Recent reports have confirmed that President Donald Trump is hoping to get fired so he can at least collect unemployment. “I don’t know how much longer here I’ve got. My boss is …
Study: indoor dining significantly increases risk of servers spitting in your food
OTTAWA – Health Canada has released a study indicating that indoor restaurant dining, particularly in high COVID infection areas, substantially increases the likelihood of servers hocking a big f…
