MILAN, ITALY – United States Vice President JD Vance was reportedly unaware of being booed during the Milano Cortina 2026 Winter Olympics opening ceremonies, due to the fact that he is alre…
Couples pregnancy app carefully dumbs down information sent to father
BRANDON, MB – A new pregnancy-monitoring app, 9months, has gained popularity thanks to its carefully-analyzed gestational data which is shared with expectant mothers and completely withheld…
Report: Even Grok grossed out by how much Elon Musk is in Epstein Files
PALO ALTO, CA – The generative artificial intelligence Grok, which recently made headlines for creating user-directed underage pornography, has expressed “profound uneasiness” a…
Nation could really use Catherine O’Hara to deal with passing of Catherine O’Hara
OTTAWA – Following the passing of screen and comedy legend Catherine O’Hara, nationwide reports indicate that the only thing Canadians could use to cheer them up from their grief is C…
Carney uninvited to join Trump’s ‘Board Of Peace’ alongside Putin, Netanyahu, Lex Luthor, Megatron
WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S. President Donald Trump disinvited Prime Minister Mark Carney from his newly-established “Board of Peace”, comprised of Trump, various war criminals, autho…
Trump demands Carney give him his standing ovation from Davos
DAVOS, SWITZERLAND – Following his poorly-received and rambling address at the World Economic Forum, U.S. President Donald Trump angrily demanded that Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney pe…
Emboldened Mark Carney delivers encore WEF speech about TFSA planning
DAVOS, SWITZERLAND – Following a headline-making address about middle powers of the world uniting against hegemonic power, an amped up Mark Carney returned to the stage for a fiery encore s…
Ford to Carney: “Interfering in lower orders of government is MY thing!”
QUEEN’S PARK – As Prime Minister Mark Carney inks a deal with Chinese President Xi Jinping to integrate their countries’ electric vehicle sectors, possibly impacting OntarioR…
Conservative pundit who tried hate-watching Heated Rivalry openly weeping at end of episode 5
KANSAS CITY – As the Canadian hockey romance Heated Rivalry gains popularity in the United States, conservative pundit Kirk Burnham’s attempt to stir up controversy over the show̵…
White House insists ICE shooter had passed mandatory escalation training
WASHINGTON D.C. – Following the death of Minneapolis resident Renee Nicole Good, Trump Administration officials are unanimously insisting the officer who shot her had completed his routine …
