OTTAWA – After winning the Liberal Party leadership race in a blowout victory, Prime Minister Designate Mark Carney removed his lifelike rubber mask to reveal that he had been current Prime…
Trump unable to keep tariffs up, blames alcohol
WASHINGTON D.C. – Following a robust initial showing, US President Donald J. Trump has announced to Canadians that he is unable to keep his strong tariffs going, in part “due to Ameri…
Trudeau announces counter tariffs on any Trump businesses that haven’t already gone bankrupt
OTTAWA – Following America’s unprecedented levying of 25% tariffs on all Canadian products, Prime Minister Trudeau announced that Canada will apply retaliatory tariffs to specific US …
Zelensky pretty sure disgraceful meeting could have been disgraceful email
WASHINGTON D.C. – Following an explosive White House meeting that saw President Trump berate the visiting Ukrainian president and push Russian talking points, Zelenskyy opined that the enti…
Ontarians weigh difficult decision between voting and anything else
ONTARIO – With polls open today in Doug Ford’s snap provincial election, voters across the province are weighing a difficult choice between going out to vote, and not doing that whats…
Trudeau invites Zelensky to friendly pick-your-brain coffee chat about being invaded by warmongering neighbour
KYIV, UKRAINE – Citing a desire to “connect face to face”, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau recently reached out to Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy with an aim to “share some …
Man who was happy to see snow for climate change reasons now back to angry
SCARBOROUGH, ON – Local man Geoff Bridgley, who recently expressed enthusiasm at this winter’s robust snowfall in the face of bleak worldwide climate change indicators, has now revert…
US, Russia commence Ukraine Piece Talks, where Ukraine will be carved into pieces
RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA – Representatives from the United States and Russia met today to commence their “Ukraine Piece Talks” summit, wherein the two autocrat-led nations will disc…
Trump on 51st State: “Canada needs America’s protection from countries like America”
WASHINGTON D.C. – Asked about his earlier comments regarding Canada becoming the 51st state, President Donald Trump clarified that Canada needs America to offer it protection from hostile a…
Man who has spent entire political career attacking everybody promises he’ll attack Trump and Elon any minute now
OTTAWA – Pierre Poilievre, who has famously spent his 21-year political career vociferously attacking any person or political entity which opposed him, has vowed to “any day now”…
