TORONTO – With Daylight Savings rolling clocks back an hour the same night as the Blue Jays face off against the L.A. Dodgers in a climactic World Series Game 7, Canadian baseball fans are …
Liberal insiders accuse Ford of ruining trade deal before Trump could ruin it [PODCAST]
OTTAWA – Anonymous sources inside the PMO are blaming Ontario Premier Doug Ford for ruining a “nearly complete” trade deal, moments before U.S. President Donald Trump could unil…
Terrified Jays fan still trapped inside Game 3
TORONTO – Following a World Series game against the LA Dodgers that went into multiple extra innings, local Blue Jays fan Mike Cortner reports that he appears to be trapped inside a metaphy…
Ford walks back plan to slash tenants rights after spike in guillotine sales
QUEEN’S PARK – Mere days after his government announced consultations over gutting Ontario tenants protections, the Ford Government has cancelled their plans after seeing a 5000% rise…
Trump slammed for demolishing White House before Canadians could burn it down again
WASHINGTON D.C. – US President Donald Trump’s planned White House ballroom, requiring the complete demolition of the historic East Wing, is being criticized by Canadians who will now …
God-fearing conservative open to fearing everything else as well
LONDON, ON – Self-professed “god-fearing Christian” and registered Conservative voter Graham Cortland has recently expressed an openness to being afraid of numerous other aspect…
Carney introduces bail reform mostly just to see the look on Poilievre’s face
“Poilievre’s bill is called ‘Jail Not Bail’, but it should be something cooled like ‘Pris Not Rizz’.” We discuss the most exciting news on every Canadian…
Jays fans look to gain Game 7 edge by kidnapping beloved Seattle radio psychiatrist
SEATTLE, WA – With the ALCS series headed to a winner-take-all game 7, Toronto Blue Jays fans have attempted to gain an advantage over the Mariners by abducting Dr. Frasier Crane, beloved r…
Canada offers to support American “NO KINGS” protest, draws line at “NO QUEENS”
OTTAWA – With millions across America taking part in today’s planned “No Kings” protest, Canadians have signalled their willingness to lend support – though emphasiz…
New horror movie somehow not a metaphor for trauma
BRANDON, MB – Scary movie enthusiasts are stunned after discovering that a recent popular horror film is in no way an allegory for grief, PTSD, or intergenerational trauma. The 2025 film, N…
