MOSCOW – Following yet another exhausting year of ruling with brutal autocracy, Russian President Vladimir Putin has reportedly decided to reward himself with a few war crimes – namel…
New York Times reports “Prime Minister Bonhomme orders Mounties to open fire on protestors in Celine Dion Square”
NEW YORK – Following this week’s police action in the capital city, the New York Times has reported that Canada’s head of state, the honorable Prime Minister Bonhomme, declared martial law …
Family of NFT enthusiast just wish he’d go back to cult
VANCOUVER – Family members of Adam Newsom, 27, have reportedly become nostalgic for the days when all he talked about was his cult, as opposed to his current obsession of NFTs. “I remember …
Ford insists he’s not dropping vaccine passport to appease convoy, he’s doing it to appease daughter
QUEEN’S PARK – During a press conference to announce that he would be ending Ontario’s proof of vaccination system, Premier Ford clarified that he is not doing this to capitulate to the ang…
Windsor blockade cleared after police deploy radical tactic of doing literally anything
WINDSOR, ON – A days-long protest on the Ambassador Bridge between Canada and the USA has come to a swift end after police employed the heretofore unimaginable tactic of doing their jobs ev…
Ghost of Pierre Elliott Trudeau urges Justin to “say the line”
OTTAWA – As protestors continue to occupy Ottawa streets with trucks, the spectral form of ex-PM Pierre Elliott Trudeau has reportedly taken to urging his son Justin to invoke his infamous …
Ottawa declares state of emergency, pending approval of lawless mob
OTTAWA – Following 9 days of sustained protesting the City of Ottawa declared a state of emergency Sunday night, pending the approval of the angry horde occupying the city core. “The citize…
5 events to watch at the Olympics which we DEFINITELY remembered were happening
What, they’re still doing that? Like with Omicron and everything? I mean, hello, and welcome to the 2022 Winter Games happening in… wait until Wikipedia refreshes… Beijing! Wait, is that a typo? …
Erin O’Toole ousted to make way for new CPC leader: this Fuck Trudeau flag
OTTAWA – Conservative Party leader Erin O’Toole has been removed in a caucus revolt, and will be replaced by a “Fuck Trudeau” flag that one of the MPs found outside Parliament Hill. The sec…
Happy Groundhog Day 2020!
Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don’t forget your booties ’cause it’s cooooold out there today! Ha ha, just a little holiday movie reference humour for you, as Canadians from…
