TORONTO – Doug Ford has remained steadfast in his claim that if there is a single sign of trouble in regards to COVID, he will shut everything down. “Oh, you don’t want to know how willing …
Government reassures Canadians who ran out of EI they are still eligible for “Call Your Parents” benefit
OTTAWA – The Trudeau Government has reassured Canadians that every person who is no longer able to apply for government assistance can apply for the “Call Your Parents” benefit. “It’s great…
Woman’s opinion about to get some really good traction after this guy says it
VANCOUVER – Local copywriter Robert Strong just made a huge contribution to the meeting by repeating a brilliant observation made by the only other woman in the group earlier when no one wa…
Super Mario 3D All-Stars Review: Your family doesn’t love you, only Mario loves you
Super Mario 3D All-Stars: 4/5 stars – Lets-a-go back in time with the new Super Mario 3D All-Stars collection including Super Mario 64, Super Mario Sunshine, and Super Mario Galaxy which af…
Newly engaged couple posts Jimmy Hoffa-level mystery instead of just saying “We’re engaged”
FACEBOOK – Daniel Cropsky and Melanie Vitker have both posted a photo of a skyline with the caption “We’re mine now!”, and their friends are completely flabbergasted. “I am almost certain t…
Local highschooler thinks new wallet chain will prove he’s not fucking around this year
CALGARY, AB – Duncan Mckenzie believes the new chain connecting his quicksilver branded wallet to his pants is really going to turn some heads this year. “A lot of kids don’t seem to take m…
Parents think world-ending catastrophe actually huge opportunity for you
Zoom call, ON – Last Friday during a grueling 12 minute zoom call with your parents, they both explained that the current hopeless, terrible, deadly pandemic restricting everyone to stay in…
Zack Snyder releases Justice League “Perfect Cut” which begins at end credits
HOLLYWOOD – Justice League fans are raving after Zack Snyder finally releases his perfect cut of the Justice League film which cuts everything except the end credits. “There was just so muc…
Leaked documents reveal Trump met with West Coast wildfire in early July
Washington, D.C. – Recently leaked documents from the White House reveal President Donald Trump had a secret meeting with the deadly wildfires currently burning across the west coast of Nor…
“Oops, I left my mask in the car,” says man who does not own a mask or a car
Every grocery store, Canada – The guy who spent 45 minutes inside the store already without a mask has now alerted one of the employees he left it in his car despite not owning a mask or a …
