TAOS, NM — In the wake of a long and difficult US presidential election, the failed Libertarian Party nominee, Gary Johnson, has announced that he finally has “a pretty good idea of what an…
Which spending scandal best describes your dad’s distrust of government?
From the Bay Street executive dad of Toronto to the walrus-hunting ataata of Tuktoyaktuk, one common thread unites all of Canada’s fathers: obsession over government spending. There’s no mistake …
New ‘Da Vinci Code’ movie highly anticipated among Dan Browns
LOS ANGELES, CA — The Dan Browns of Dan Brown’s Dan Brown Fan Club released an official statement on their website, Saturday, expressing their excitement for Inferno, the new film in the Da…
Montreal resident shaves 45 minutes off commute by quitting job
MONTREAL — Local industrial designer, Frédéric Villeneuve, discovered a “life hack” for reducing his long commute that has recently made big waves on social media: Villeneuve quit his job. …
Crybaby Craig can’t handle spicy dip
THUNDER BAY, ON — That insufferable whiner Craig had yet another complaint for party hosts Tim and Samantha, Saturday night, when Craig tried their beloved spicy feta dip. “OoOoooOoo…” repo…
Local man devastated after toasting bread on “Bagel” setting
Saskatoon, SK — Local contractor Gord Sawchuk was struck by misfortune this morning when two thick slices of cinnamon raisin bread were ejected from his toaster with only a single toasted s…
TMZ goes into DEFCON 1 as Brangelina split surfaces
MARINA DEL REY, CA, USA — Following the submission of divorce papers for Hollywood power couple Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, celebrity news outlet TMZ went into its highest level of alert,…
Embattled QC cabinet minister steps down, maintains he flew to Florida for anti-corruption golf tournament
QUEBEC CITY — In his resignation as Treasury Board president, Quebec Liberal MNA Sam Hamad replied to claims he went to Florida to escape an ethics probe, telling reporters “my honor is as …
Beijing’s smog warnings difficult to see through smog
BEIJING — In the wake of Beijing’s first ever “Red Alert” air pollution advisory, a new poll suggests that a significant fraction of the city’s residents have been unable to see the governm…
Man born with giant paper-maché head ready for another Halloween
SURREY, BC — After a year of self-imposed exile, Daniel Gauthier, a man with a strange and rare genetic condition, plans to emerge from his home. Every October 31st, Gauthier, who was born …