By: Your Dad Would you just look at those! Have you ever seen tomatoes that big before? Look at that. Big. Red. Round. Now that’s a tomato. You know, I wasn’t too sure this year because the summe…
Yuppie rat colonies continue gentrification of lower income sewers
TORONTO – As part of Toronto’s continuing trend of gentrification, rats from Rosedale, Forest Hill, and other affluent neighbourhoods have begun colonizing lower income areas througho…
Out of work giant rubber duck tragically deflates self with heroin needle
TORONTO – After weeks of unemployment following the Canada 150 celebrations, the giant rubber duck that was a star attraction has tragically deflated itself while trying to shoot heroin. “I…
Local woman getting concerned after Facebook asks her how her father’s surgery went
VANCOUVER – Local woman Rachel Tremblay has become concerned Facebook is too familiar with her life, after the social media site asked her how her father’s kidney stone removal earlier toda…
Student on study abroad has deep realization that they love cheap drugs and boning down
PRAGUE – International Relations student Michael Kenley has had a huge self-realization while on his summer abroad in Europe, discovering deep down that he loves readily accessible drugs an…
Christy Clark resigns as CEO of B.C. Liberals
VANCOUVER – After losing a motion of non-confidence with investors following a rocky second quarter, Christy Clark has decided to step down as CEO of the B.C. Liberal Party and take her sev…
All I did was imply we should kill all liberals, and the left’s outrage machine is at it again
By NRA spokeswoman Dana Loesch Geez, here we go again. In classic fashion, all I do is near-explicitly call for violence against half of the country and now all the little leftist snowflakes are …
Quiz: Well, do you?
You’ve really done it this time, and I mean REALLY done it. Sources Angry boss with employee Shocked woman looking at laptop Angry man on the phone Stressed man sitting at desk Woman sitting at…
Millennial with six jobs killing it, dying
TORONTO – Local woman Jess Nguyen, 26, is currently making a considerable amount of money working six part-time jobs, while also slowly dying of fatigue and several untreated illnesses. “It…
Get excited Millennials: Russian State Television is bringing back “Happy Time with Oksana and Michail”
All you 90’s kids better get hella excited, because you’re about to get hit with a major nostalgia bomb. This week, the All-Russia State Television Company announced that they’re bringing back th…