As summer approaches it’s important for many to take spiritual stock in what one believes. The current political climate would suggest that returning to popular religions such as Catholicism may …
Study shows women without spouses are happier, healthier and so horny
OTTAWA, ON — A recent study has revealed that women without the partnership of a spouse exhibit characteristics of more happiness, better health and the most horniness a person can feel. Th…
The Top 5 documentaries that will kick start you right into a major depression
In our current cultural and political climate, truth is often stranger, scarier, and more uplifting than fiction – which is why it’s no surprise that documentaries are having a renaissance in 201…
BREAKING: Guy you didn’t realize you invited to your birthday party is here thirty minutes early
MONTREAL, QC — As of 8:38 pm, it is being reported that Dan Schlensky has arrived at Cynthia Dante’s birthday party thirty minutes earlier than the Facebook invite initially had stated. Mak…
‘Did you know I’m not drinking alcohol this month?’ says woman to her empty bed
TORONTO – After a long and thoughtful self-care journey, Valerie Duncan has decided to give up drinking this month. A decision she has specifically chosen to disclose to her cold, empty bed…
Man who just open mouthed sneezed into your ear is pretty sure it’s just allergies
JASPER, AB — On her usual morning commute, Ainsley Stephens, 26, has been informed that the strange man who sneezed into her ear without covering his mouth “has allergies, not a cold,…
“Have you tried meditating?” says woman who just appeared out of nowhere
BANFF, AB — While attempting to enter her car after a particularly stressful day, bank teller Chelsea Ponte was cornered by a woman out of nowhere asking if she had considered meditating as…
75% of dogs’ nighttime anxiety caused by humans having sex in front of them
VANCOUVER – A new study from the University of British Columbia has officially proven that – similar to humans – dogs feel acute anxiety at nighttime, and that this anxiety is d…
Baby would like you to try his mashed sweet potato too
Kingston, ON — Upon completing his dinner, Joe Johnston, age 8 months and two weeks, would very very much like to share his mashed sweet potato with you. “At first I was like, no I’m fine”,…
Billy Crystal stages coup in attempt to take over hosting Oscars
HOLLYWOOD – Unwilling to accept a hostless ceremony, nine time Oscar host Billy Crystal has staged a coup to take control over the event. “How dare they!” screamed Crystal as he led a milit…