OTTAWA – Former member of Parliament Pierre Poilievre today bemoaned the interview he gave to Jordan Peterson, saying he can’t believe he hung out with him for a whole afternoon only to have it all to be for nothing. “You’re telling me I spent like three hours in his weird abandoned warehouse set and now I’m completely unemployed?,” Poilievre told reporters.
The podcast episode, entitled “Canada’s Next Prime Minister”, is a nearly two hour long one-on-one interview in which Poilievre outlined his conservative agenda and also resisted the urge to scream “OH MY GOD JUST SHUT UP!!!” whenever Peterson spoke for more than a few moments.
“The worst part now is that whenever his fans see me on the street they ask me what I think about lobsters or crabs or whatever,” Poilievre explained. “I don’t know how to impart on you that I could not care less. All I wanted was to be elected Prime Minister. And now all these dumb hicks in this new Alberta riding I have to run in are saying I only give interviews to ‘Elite Toronto University Professors’. I thought you all loved this guy! Fuck!” When asked about the segment wherein he describes what he would do if re-elected to a second term as Prime Minister, Poilievre held his face in his hands and let out a long, anguished shriek of despair that blew out his microphone.
When reached for comment, Peterson made clear that he is none too pleased either. “He promised me a spot in his cabinet or at least a sweet advisory gig, and now he can’t even get me an internship on the hill.” He later clarified that if Poilievre had worn his glasses to the interview he would have snatched them right off his smug face and snapped them in two.
Poilievre meanwhile continues his work to win back a seat in the House of Commons. At press time, he was heard asking staffers if Donald Trump Jr. has a podcast he could get on to kick off his campaign.
