SASKATOON – Officials from across the province of Saskatchewan held a press conference to come clean and admit that they were just fucking with everyone about the whole calling a hoodie a “bunny hug” thing.
The term ‘bunny hug’ has long been used by Saskatonians to denote a hoodie with many across the country believing the term to be an adorable example of regional slang. However, Saskatchewan residents are now ready to come clean and admit it was all part of an elaborate scheme.
“If you google ‘5 interesting facts about Saskatchewan’ do you know what comes up? One decade old article about our wheat exports, and then several links to 404 Errors. Do you know how embarrassing that is?” said provincial spokesperson John Hill. “We had to come up with something that put us on the map. BC had beautiful Vistas and redwood trees, Alberta had Jasper and Oil, and Ontario has buildings higher than three stories if you can believe it. What do we have?”
Hill went on to explain how Saskatchewan considered many other gimmicks, like creating a worse version of French to pass off as their official language, building the world’s biggest hay bale or even creating a notable resident. However, it quickly became clear that the easiest option would be to just make up a cute little word.
“Yeah, so basically we just filed into Gerry’s garage one night to brainstorm a fun and ridiculous new word,” recalled resident Paul Stewart. “We thought it’d be a lot of work to get this whole mass lie thing going, but thankfully there’s not that many of us. So all 57 of us were able to fit in the garage and agree, so that was that.”
With the truth now coming to light, many residents are expressing relief at the end of the elaborate scheme.
“It’s been a lot of work, what with all the monthly meetings we’ve been having to keep this charade going,” said Regina resident Gail Winters. “One time I slipped and called it a ‘hoodie’ while on the phone with a Torontonian, and I had to lie and say that in Saskatchewan, a hoodie is actually just a type of panini.”
“No to mention, a Provincial state of emergency was called when the truth was almost revealed on an episode of Corner Gas,” added Winters.
At press time, the RCMP had announced plans to leave the Prairie province and fly out to Newfoundland in hopes of exposing Tibb’s Eve as a wholly made up holiday.
