6 long winter coats that say "I'm definitely wearing pajamas under here" - The Beaverton

6 long winter coats that say “I’m definitely wearing pajamas under here”

Winter is full of small joys – like sipping hot chocolate by the fire, looking at twinkly Christmas lights, and stomping all over snow forts that children spent hours building. But the absolute best thing about this season is the ability to secretly wear your scumbag pajamas in public under a long winter coat. Here are 6 cozy and stylish options that will perfectly conceal the fact that you rolled out of bed and couldn’t be bothered to try even a little bit. 

Lululemon Women’s Wunderpuff  

Jammy up! Made with 600 fill power goose down, this parka will help you fight the cold and any thoughts you had of changing your clothes in days. The adjustable drawstring waist will pull attention to your feminine silhouette and away from your rotting, coffee-stained sweatpants that might be peeking out the bottom. Have you given up grooming this season as well? Then consider buying the matching hat, so you don’t have to wash your hair this winter either!

Eddie Bauer Men’s Kara Koram Parka

With its lightweight breathability, this coat will be the center of your wardrobe – even year-round! Its standout detail is the drawstring hood, which you can pull tightly to your face so that no one can see that you once bought and now sleep in a “KONY 2012” t-shirt. It also features large front pockets to hold all the essentials, like an emergency sewing kit in case your decrepit flannel pants finally disintegrate while you’re on the go. And let’s be real, it’s not a matter of if, but when. 

Aritzia Women’s Long Super Puff

Every Toronto girlie knows that the Super Puff is a winter wardrobe necessity, especially for hiding those trashnasty pa-jams! Engineered to withstand temperatures of up to – 40 degrees celsius, this choice will keep you cozy during your northern getaway while concealing your jammies from Northern Getaway, a business that has not existed for almost 20 years. This coat’s best feature is definitely the snug thumb holes, which can expertly conceal the frayed sleeves of any decaying sweatshirts.

Nordstrom Men’s Hyde Longline Wool Coat

Priced at $695, you can’t afford to wear anything under this one! The only non-puffer coat on this list, this luxurious wool number is worth the investment as it’s the strongest at fooling passersby into thinking that you showered and dressed anew. Because who would think that someone who looks so chic on the outside actually looks like Dobby the house elf in his lil’ pillowcase dress on the inside? Available in three different colors, it makes a très posh disguise for your tattered jam jams. 

Columbia Ember Springs Women’s Jacket

Camouflage? More like pajamaflage! This jacket offers a master class in PJ disguise! It features an interior zippered layer that looks like a sleek, matching long sleeve shirt.  This means that you can fool everyone into thinking you went through the effort of changing your clothes, when in reality you’re just hiding a ratty oversized CN Tower stair climb participation shirt with an embarrassing timestamp  – 6 hours 32 mins. Maybe see a doctor about that!

The North Face Men’s Nupste Parka

This parka will make you a pro at dodging the cold, and any questions from concerned friends who are asking things like “Why are you wearing your coat inside?” and “Are you sure you want to keep your coat on during brunch?” and “Matthew, please! This is a wedding. Can you hang your coat up!?” It offers a roomy, relaxed fit, so there’s plenty of space underneath for your choice of repulsive lounge sweats. You can probably even fit your bathrobe under there! 

Happy Pajammin’!