EDMONTON – Overhearing a sportscaster mention that the Toronto Maple Leafs could be the only Canadian team to make the playoffs this year has sent local man Dave Kilmartin into a full blown rage.
“No! Then when TSN only talks about the Leafs it’ll be because they’re the only team to talk about!!!” screamed Kilmartin as he smashed a vase, jumped up and down in fury and attempted to flip over a table but discovered that, like his Oilers, he couldn’t cut it.
“I will actually shoot my tv if this happens,” he added before screaming into a pillow.
The Leafs are the only Canadian team currently holding one of the top 3 divisional seeds that guarantees a playoff berth. The Habs, Sens, Canucks, Jets and Oilers are all out of the playoffs, while Calgary is tied with Dallas for the last Western Conference playoff spot. This situation has caused a spike in “anger-screams” and “rage-sobs” in cities and towns located outside the GTA.
“If we are the only team in then I look forward to seeing the rest of the country rally around us and cheer for us as Canada’s team,” said one Leafs fan with a big shit-eating grin on his face.
The NHL is cautioning fans not to get too down however, as their teams could still turn it around (as long as their teams aren’t the Habs or Sens). Plus they can look forward to watching Toronto fans watch the Leafs lose in the first round again.
