MONTREAL – A quick-thinking hockey fan is being praised as a hero after informing the Montreal Canadiens that the team is bad at playing hockey.
Long-time Habs fan Patrick Martin quickly noted the team’s piss-poor performance and self-destructive behaviour in stark contrast to last year’s Stanley Cup final appearance.
Sensing something was seriously wrong, Martin immediately alerted the team the best way he knew how.
“You suck!,” yelled the future professional hockey analyst shouting at his flat screen television. “This is bullshit! You guys play like shit! Trade your players already!”
The Habs’ coaching staff and players immediately took note of Martin’s expert diagnosis.
“He’s right, we are pretty awful,” said forward Brendan Gallagher. “Thanks to him, we’ll start playing hockey and not tennis.”