OTTAWA – After Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced a diplomatic boycott for the upcoming Beijing Olympics, Canada’s diplomats are expressing outrage that they spent so long training for games they will not be allowed to attend.
“Every day I’d get up at 5am and spend 3 hours practicing my handshaking, ‘wine and cheesing’ and small-talking skills,” said Consular Official Jenette Ross. “I’ll never get that time back.”
“I just don’t see why politics should get in the way of politics.”
From coast to coast the dozens of hopeful young diplomats whose dreams had been crushed expressed similar outrage. Many noted that the decision was actually hardest on their families.
“How am I supposed to explain to my dad that all the money he spent sending me to Envoy Camp so I could learn how to properly joke about our rivalry with China without starting an international conflict is just going to go to waste? He got a second job to afford it!”
Reached for comment, Chinese Officials said they were absolutely devastated not to get to meet the deputy Minister of Fisheries and Trades, but would try to find a way to go on.
