OTTAWA – In a press release issued this past Wednesday, the Canada Revenue Agency has vowed to revolutionize its beloved customer service by hanging up on even more callers.
According to CRA spokesperson Etienne Biram, “So many Canadians have been impacted by the pandemic, and have suffered job losses and serious health setbacks. The CRA is committed to supporting the mental health of all taxpayers. Specifically, we want to make sure that they get a chance to relieve stress and enjoy the little things in life. When they call, we give them plenty of opportunities to listen to our recordings, key in their SIN numbers, and then we hang up on them like we’re playing a fun game with terrifying real world consequences.”
Biram continued, “I know our staff enjoy it — we laugh and laugh and laugh — and so I’m confident our clients do as well. Normally, the public doesn’t get to engage in toxic fun like this unless they work for the Governor General’s Office.”
Although the CRA will still answer around two-thirds of their calls, those that get through will experience the joy of woefully inaccurate tax information and empty promises to be transferred to another agent. Ultimately, they can take comfort in the knowledge that they will be in no better place than those who got hung up on.
At press time, the Alberta and Ontario governments are consulting the CRA as to how to make vaccine appointment websites less functional.