OTTAWA – In the midst of another turbulent year for Canada, Justin Trudeau has put forward a bold legislative vision in his latest throne speech by adding “and this time we’re totes going to do i…
Tag: Governor General
CRA improves customer service by hanging up on every third caller
OTTAWA – In a press release issued this past Wednesday, the Canada Revenue Agency has vowed to revolutionize its beloved customer service by hanging up on even more callers. According to CRA spok…
Trudeau struggles to find astronaut to fill Governor General position
OTTAWA – Following the resignation of Governor General Julie Payette, in the wake of abuse allegations, Prime Minister Trudeau has been having an impossible time finding another astronaut t…
Julie Payette: I’m so sorry that my staffers are all a bunch of pussies
OTTAWA – Following news accounts of a scathing independent report into her workplace behaviour, Julie Payette resigned yesterday as Canada’s Governor General and released a public resignati…
Governor General grants Royal Assent using tears of her staffers
OTTAWA – Acting on behalf of Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, Governor General Julie Payette has granted several pieces of legislation Royal Assent by inscribing her signature with the tear…
Scheer: “The Governor General should remain impartial about the existence of gravity”
OTTAWA – Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer is slamming the Governor General for her biased comments supporting the laws of gravity. “There are millions of Canadians who were offended by Jul…
Report: Julie Payette already bored
OTTAWA – Early reports indicate that Canada’s 29th Governor General Julie Payette is already bored of being the Queen’s representative in Canada. The former astronaut and engineer who was o…
Woman only had to go to space twice for man not to question her qualifications
OTTAWA – The soon-to-be Governor General only had to visit space twice to persuade local man Walter Alfons that she was selected for the honour based on merit. Alfons, who has questioned ne…
Julie Payette happy to start her seventh most exciting career
OTTAWA – Former Canadian astronaut Julie Payette has been selected to become the country’s next Governor General, making this her seventh most exciting career. The woman who has been on two…
Trudeau hints next Governor General may be giant Canada Goose
OTTAWA – In what is being hailed as a victory for diversity, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has dropped several hints in the last week that the nation’s next head of state may well be a huma…