MONTREAL – In a devastating turn of events, we can report that this evening the wrong person has responded to your thirst trap. The undeniably hot photo you recently posted – lounging around in tight athleisure directly after completing a grueling home workout – instantly resulted in an unwanted direct message from a former co-worker you haven’t spoken to in three years. Jason Brown hit you up with both the heart eyes and fire emoji before sending a long winded message asking you to get a drink sometime.
“I mean, I always watch your stories the moment after they’re put up. But this photo was… wow,” said Brown. “Like I couldn’t help myself. I needed to reach out and see if we still had that connection from when we worked at the restaurant.”
Brown’s response to your photo felt entirely inappropriate given the only defining features you remember about the former co-worker is that he was both a mouth breather and close talker. The response was doubly maddening given the fact that Chris Bridges, the absolute hunk of a man the thirst trap had been intended for, has still yet to acknowledge (or potentially even see) the super enticing and tastefully shot photo.
The thirst trap has also been acknowledged by a handful of your closest friends, who are always very supportive of you looking hot on the internet. Unfortunately, you noticed that the post was also viewed by your Aunt Linda, who can get pretty judgey about the whole thing and is bound to send a “concerned” text to your mom.
At press time you were contemplating deleting the photo and reposting it so that it might appear at the top of Bridges timeline. But given that the post already has 82 likes, you’ll probably just keep it up.