MISSISSAUGA, ON 一 Since the start of September, staunch anti-bra advocate Laurel Cobb has been preparing herself and her nipples for colder autumn weather.
“Fall is definitely the hardest season for us freeboobin’ folk,” said the 48 year-old woman while checking the weather app on her phone. “In the summer, sure we deal with dreaded under tit sweat, but fall is a constant game of hard vs. soft nips.”
“But I really don’t mind all that much! There’s nothing wrong with letting everyone know how positively excited and perked up I am about my favourite season!”
Cobb has been vehemently opposed to wearing bras for the past twenty years. The braless aficionado said it all started when she tried not wearing a bra. The sensation of freedom was so overpowering that she hasn’t gone back since.
“Oh it sure it nipply out today! I mean nippy,” the perfectly content woman chucked. “To be quite honest, I think what I do is a public service because everyone can tell that the weather is dipping below 10 degrees just by looking at me.”
When onlookers were questioned about Cobb’s bold choice of omitting undergarments, most replied that they either “didn’t care” or “didn’t notice.” However one passerby expressed white hot jealousy for Cobb’s confidence, while tugging at the underwire stabbing into their ribs.
At press time, Cobb was seen standing on her porch, protruding her chest out to determine the direction of the wind.
