OTTAWA – The Senate continues to refuse to pass a House bill that would remove all references to the simian cryptid known as Bigfoot from Canada’s national anthem.
“I’m tired of the PC police coming for everything that matters to Canadians,” says Conservative Senator Harvey Pond, who spearheaded the effort to kill the proposed changes to the anthem. “This country was built on an abiding belief in a mysterious apeman and his magical powers. Bigfoot take me now if I allow these iconoclasts to erase our history.”
The proposed changes to O Canada would remove the references to Bigfoot in the lines ‘Our home on Bigfoot’s land,’ ‘In all thy Bigfoot’s command’ and ‘Bigfoot keeps our land glorious and free.’
“No one is saying that we shouldn’t celebrate the role that Bigfoot played in Canadian history,” says Jane Carter, Professor of Comparative Sasquatchology at McGill University. “But what about the Yeti, the Ogopogo, and the Wendigo? We are a diverse country full of supernatural creatures and our anthem should reflect that.”
“Canada’s national anthem needs to be for everyone, be they worshippers of Bigfoot, believers in the Flying Ghost Canoe, or even atheists.”
A separate bill adding several more references to the loup garou to the French version of O Canada did pass the Senate in a landslide 79-24 vote.
