TORONTO – Local woman Jess Nguyen, 26, is currently making a considerable amount of money working six part-time jobs, while also slowly dying of fatigue and several untreated illnesses.
“It’s great, I’m making enough to pay rent and save every month,” said Nguyen through a hacking cough. “I never have time to eat either, so I’m saving even more. Now that’s hustle!”
While Nguyen’s friends admit that she is ‘crushing it’ with her current level of revenue, most are also concerned that she hasn’t had to time to sleep enough or to see a doctor about her persistent post-nasal drip and terrifying hallucinations.
“No time for sleep when you’re making that mad bank,” said Nguyen, who had a minute prior been wildly swatting away ‘the bats.’ “Besides, after I get home from the coffee shop and spend two hours on my transcriptions I’ll have a half hour to close my eyes before heading to the restaurant. Plenty.”
“Sorry, is this room a little red to you or am I just seeing blood again?”
Despite these assurances, Nguyen’s close friend Natalie Singh, 27, isn’t buying it and believes that Nguyen should take on a more reasonable workload, and also ask someone why her heart rate is 30 BPM.
“I get that Jess is saving, but it’s unhealthy,” said Singh. “She should cut down to three or four jobs like everyone else has. That way she can get a solid four hours of sleep, and maybe get a weekend off every other month.”
Nguyen’s health hasn’t seemed to impact her work life yet, with employers and managers across the board praising her self-destructive behaviour.
“Jess is a real trooper, and I know we’d hate to lose her here,” said Home Depot store manager Greg Oates. “But we’d also hate for her to get sick, and also really hate to give her a raise or better hours.”
“Probably in that order?”
Nguyen has now begun to reconsider her work situation, after participating in a paid study at CAMH and being shown a scan of her rotting sleep-deprived brain.
