HALIFAX – While most view the return of cod to the North Atlantic as a good thing, local man Dale Thompson now feels like his plan to hoard thousands of kilos of raw cod was a foolish one.
“Well now I look like an idiot,” said Thompson, who has been unable to use his garage for three years due to all the cod stuffed in it. “I should’ve known there was a cod bubble.”
Thompson started collecting the saltwater fish after the government banned cod fishing in 1992, believing that the cod would retain its value no matter how old and decomposed it got. Since then, Thompson has accumulated nearly 7,000 kilos, all of which is now worthless.
“You’d think after 20 years the fishy smell would eventually start getting better,” said Thompson, who can barely open his bathroom door without his cod futures sliding all over the floor. “But if anything it’s getting worse.”
Thompson says that he’s still investigating other avenues to unload the fish for a profit.
“I was thinking maybe an app,” said Thompson. “Like, you send me a text and I bring you 800kg of rotting cod. Or maybe it’s like Skype but instead of talking to your friends, I send you 800kg of rotting cod. I don’t know. I’m still working out the kinks.”
At press time, Thompson had made back his initial investment by taking a $10,000 offer to move out of his neighbourhood forever.
