STRATHROY, ON – A local man’s imagination is reporting that thousands of Canadians have been incarcerated under the country’s new Sharia law, thanks to the passage of the Anti-Islamophobia motion in the House of Commons.
Deep inside Kenneth Boyle’s mind, the federal government has already executed dozens for blasphemy, ordered all women to wear niqabs, and announced that everyone will be forced to speak whatever foreign language they fear most, thanks to a non-binding Parliamentary resolution.
Boyle wasted no time in alerting his fellow patriots and free-speech lovers on Facebook about the imminent danger of his complete fabrication of reality.
Boyle claims to be an expert on Islam because he watched an especially long YouTube video about it, and said he “knows one of them from work.” Follow-up reports have discovered his co-worker is actually Sikh.
“They didn’t define Islamophobia!” complained the voice in the father of two’s head. “Now I have to stone an adulterer to death!”
At press time, Boyle felt reassured that there is hope in defeating his made-up nightmare after seeing that people were still able to make online comments on National Post stories.
