LOS ANGELES – After concerns about natural human aging surfaced earlier this week, studio executives are now seeking a younger actress to play Maggie Gyllenhaal.
“We love Maggie, we really do, but the current ‘Maggie Gyllenhaal’ character is getting older and, subsequently, far less employable,” said producer Richard Lewis, 55. “I mean, would you believe a 55-year-old man in the prime of his life would go after a shriveled, 37-year-old woman? It’s just doesn’t make sense.”
Casting calls for the role were sent out early next week. Producers are looking for women aged “anywhere from 18 to 27 but able to play younger” and who can promise “not to age for at least 10 years.”
“I thought I had at least a few years left in the role,” said the soon-to-be-former Maggie Gyllenhaal. “I guess I’ll take a 20 year break from acting so I can come back as a wise, grandmotherly character that nobody wants to fuck. Then everybody will start to rave about my acting abilities.”
At press time, Mila Kunis had been cast as Maggie Gyllenhaal who had been cast as a sexy lawyer.
With files by Pat Dussault
