DELORAINE, MB – After a sudden torrential downpour that has inundated his community, a local climate change denier has been swept away by rushing waters and is presumed drowned.
“It’s only a little rainstorm,” insisted Dale Jenkins standing outside with the water levels approaching his ankles. “Manitoba floods every year, but people want to believe Greenpeace and those bleeding-heart environmentalists.”
Jenkins claimed to be an expert after reading several websites and blogs and has steadfastly refused to accept that the sudden 200 mm of rain pouring down on him had anything to do with climate change.
“If only people weren’t so ignorant and blind” said the 42 year old said grabbing onto a hydro pole struggling to keep his head above the onslaught of water and debris. “We are brainwashing our children to think that we are the problem. But we’re not. It’s just a fetish so that dirty liberals can sell hybrid cars and solar panels.”
Jenkins had began to rant about how the climatologists on the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change committed a massive cover-up, but was swept away after he was hit by a floating fridge.
“Fuck you, Al Gore… Fuck you!” Jenkins screamed before disappearing under the water.
