ONTARIO – At a press conference earlier today, Tim Hudak once again told reporters that he wouldn’t consider cutting Ontario’s health care budget, while winking repeatedly and shaking his head.
“Healthcare is one of the cornerstones of Canadian public policy,” said the PC leader, furiously opening and closing his right eye. “It would be foolish to put even more strain on an already underfunded system. That’s why I won’t do it.”
“I definitely won’t do it.”
Hudak is campaigning on a platform of austerity measures, with cuts for almost all departments in the public sector intended to offset proposed tax breaks for corporations. By making Ontario more attractive to businesses, the PC leader believes he can make Ontario more attractive to businesses.
“I mean, the only reason someone would cut health care is if, say, they came of age under the Mike Harris government, and nobody wants a repeat of the Mike Harris government,” said Hudak before having a coughing fit that happened to sound exactly like “I love you Mike Harris”.
Hudak also said that good health care was essential to reducing the wealth gap between rich and poor, while crossing his eyes and spinning his finger in a circle around his ear.
“Healthcare protects those less fortunate than us. I will always be there to protect the poor,” Hudak said, making a strong gesture with his crossed fingers.
Hudak ended the conference by nudging every reporter in the ribs and giving them a sardonic, knowing look.
