TORONTO – After calling reports that McDonald’s uses foreign labour “bullshit”, CEO John Betts has been let go and replaced with a temporary foreign worker.
“We decided that John wasn’t taking the foreign worker issue seriously” said President of McDonald’s Corporation Don Thompson from his office in Oak Brook, Illinois. “He was also making too much money and not working long enough. McDonald’s needs to be responsible to our shareholders and therefore had to remove Mr. Betts as CEO and replace him with someone who is more cost-effective.”
The new CEO of McDonald’s Canada has spent the past two months in the country working as a cashier at an Alberta McDonald’s restaurant under the Temporary Foreign Worker Program and doesn’t know too many swear words in English.
“Luis will make a great CEO since he doesn’t ask any questions and, to be fair to all the other workers, his job will start at minimum wage” Thompson added.
At press time, former CEO Betts was trying to explain that he was taken out of context and describing the main ingredient of McDonald’s special sauce.
