Sendai, JAPAN – Japanese contractors in charge of cleaning up after the Fukushima nuclear disaster say that the strange glow being emitted by some of the homeless it hired is merely their immense gratitude for being employed.
“Our company could not find any historical, cultural, or scientific evidence that putting vulnerable people to work in areas with high radiation would have any negative implications,” said Fujiko Haneda in a telephone call from his company’s headquarters in Nagasaki. “Let me be very clear on this; our employees are simply lit up with dedication, and humming with productivity.”
At press time, Haneda was not concerned the homeless labourers would grow 100 feet tall, destroy tall buildings that resembled poorly designed set-pieces and fight an epic battle with a giant ape of similar proportions.
