OTTAWA – After processing the denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance of the violence they faced today, women across Canada have gone to bed prepared to grieve the inevitable …
Tag: woman
Local woman runs at night because her greatest motivator is fear
KINGSTON, ON – Tired of giving up halfway through her daytime workouts, Kate Brown starts all her 5 km runs after 9:30 pm to ensure she stays motivated and afraid. “I’m just not a gym person,” Ka…
Woman always on vacation in your Instagram feed actually cocaine smuggler
PLAYA DEL CARMEN, MEXICO – After taking a series selfies in a tropical beach paradise, the gorgeous woman in your Instagram feed who always seems to be on vacation loaded a boat full of coc…
Most requested sex act of 2021 is telling straight men they’re ‘one of the good ones’
Barrie, ON – Replacing 2020’s ‘Pegging,’ studies say that the most requested sex act in North America for straight men is now telling them that they’re ‘one of the good ones.’ “Nothing gets…
Self-involved friend thinks she’d make a great therapist
TORONTO, ON – After years of offering unsolicited advice to friends, family, and absolute strangers, local self-involved woman, Miranda Emmerson, announced to friends at a wedding Saturday …
My mom is the strongest woman I know besides Gargantua The Mighty
It wasn’t until I became an adult that I appreciated my mother. Growing up, there were many times I wished she would lighten up and not be so strict with me and my siblings. But that was before I…
Woman on vacation wonders how much guilt to unpack
CAYO COCO, CUBA – Mother of three, Tricia Spumante, was eagerly awaiting her much needed vacation at an all inclusive resort when it struck her that she had to unpack all the guilt that was…
Murderess insists on being called “murderer” like her male counterparts
KINGSTON, ON – After prosecutors at her trial repeatedly referred to her as ‘murderess,’ Kaitlyn Hayworth, 27, Tuesday abruptly confessed, “I’m a murderer! Murderer! Get it right!” mid-tria…
Local woman insists co-workers feel her cold hands
WANDERING RIVER, AB – Eyewitnesses are reporting that a 41-year-old local woman suffering from poor circulation spent most of yesterday morning trying to prove to her co-workers that she wa…
Santa’s nice list just one lady from Saskatoon
SASKATOON, SK – Leaked documents from earlier this morning have revealed the full contents of Santa Claus’ previously undisclosed naughty and nice lists, with many were surprised to learn t…